DEATH STAR – “We’re not expendable.”

Those are the words of a TIE Fighter pilot stationed on the Death Star, afraid to have his name published for fear of repercussion.

“In their [the Imperial Navy’s] view, the more TIE Fighters thrown at the enemy, the better chance we have at victory. I have an idea. Let’s put some decent steering control on these things first. Or even proximity indicator when we’re on the same flight path. I can’t tell you how many friends I’ve lost that have simply crashed into each other.”

But the Imperial Navy doesn’t have any plans to modify the TIE Fighter or to give TIE Fighter pilots more money.

“Hazard pay? Don’t make me laugh. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up to be fighter pilots,” said the Imperial Navy’s Admiral Motti.

“They should just be thankful they’re not Stormtroopers. Those guys can’t even sit down properly,” he added.

TIE Fighter pilots don’t appear to be backing down from this fight.

“I’d like to see them try to fight a battle without us,” said the anonymous pilot.

“A TIE Fighter pilot strike? Ah, sure. We don’t mind. Maybe we’d actually have one day without them crashing into the Death Star, then,” said Motti.